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Albert Burneko
Assignment Editor
Connect
albert.burneko@defector.com
@albertburneko
The Great Outdoors
I Have Been Defeated And Humbled By My Hated Foe, The Wind
193
Comments
Albert Burneko
March 7, 2023
The Machines
Get A Load Of This Sorry Piece Of Crap
606
Comments
Albert Burneko
February 23, 2023
Enter Our Raffle To Win A Visit And Home-Cooked Meal From Drew Magary
In 2022, we sent Cardboard Roth and actual Roth to our raffle winner's home. This year, we're sending Drew over, and he's cooking up a feast. Anyone who makes a contribution of at least $20 into our tip jar by Nov. 24 will be entered into the raffle.
NBA
Chicago Bulls Organization Experiences Performance-Limiting Brain Condition While Participating In Lonzo Ball Injury Updates
124
Comments
Albert Burneko
February 21, 2023
Chefector
It’s Good To Make Your Own Stock Sometimes
297
Comments
Albert Burneko
February 18, 2023
This Is So Stupid
Google’s Search Engine Reveals Its Feelings: Destroy All Humans With A Rain Of Nuclear Fire
122
Comments
Albert Burneko
February 16, 2023
NBA
Nets Coach: The Challenge With Ben Simmons Is He Is A Crappy Player
238
Comments
Albert Burneko
February 14, 2023
NBA
Here Is Your 2023 NBA Trade Deadline Roundup
164
Comments
Albert Burneko
and
Tom Ley
February 9, 2023
NBA
LeBron James’s Former Colleagues Laud His Greatness, Incredibly Rudely
177
Comments
Albert Burneko
February 7, 2023
Chefector
You Have No Excuse For Disliking Vegetables
387
Comments
Albert Burneko
February 4, 2023
NFL
Which Of These Was The Worst Trick Play Of All Time?
232
Comments
Barry Petchesky
,
Chris Thompson
, and
Albert Burneko
January 23, 2023
The Machines
How Not To Interrogate The Ethics Of Tesla’s Busted Autopilot Technology
534
Comments
Albert Burneko
January 20, 2023
Chefector
Send Me Your Food Questions
384
Comments
Albert Burneko
January 17, 2023
Science
Are Your Memories Indexed By Year?
234
Comments
Albert Burneko
January 13, 2023
The Machines
The Coolest BattleBots, According To Me, A BattleBot Sicko
202
Comments
Albert Burneko
January 11, 2023
This Is So Stupid
In My Day You Couldn’t Fake-Die For Two Years Without Real Commitment
274
Comments
Albert Burneko
January 5, 2023
MLB
End-Stage Loser Brain Is Ditching Your Favorite Team Because It Wants To Be Good Now
233
Comments
Albert Burneko
December 21, 2022
Journalismism
Any Worthwhile Player Ranking Will Make You So Mad
156
Comments
Albert Burneko
December 14, 2022
Soccer
Qatar’s World Cup CEO Scolds Reporters For Noticing That Another Worker Died
150
Comments
Albert Burneko
December 8, 2022
Soccer
Portugal Romped While Ronaldo Watched
217
Comments
Albert Burneko
December 7, 2022
Soccer
Japan Is The Best Kind Of World Cup Killer
80
Comments
Albert Burneko
December 2, 2022
The Machines
What The Boring Company Does
394
Comments
Albert Burneko
November 29, 2022
Chefector
My Damn Oven Died Just In Time For Thanksgiving
311
Comments
Albert Burneko
November 23, 2022
Soccer
Cristiano Ronaldo Now Going Door-To-Door Trying To Alienate People
128
Comments
Albert Burneko
November 17, 2022
Soccer
Croatia Will Say Goodbye To A Legend In Qatar
35
Comments
Albert Burneko
November 15, 2022
Soccer
It Is Illegal To List Spain Among The World Cup Favorites
58
Comments
Albert Burneko
November 10, 2022
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