Baseballs Fly In Arlington, Almost As If They Had Wings

At MLB's annual home run derby on Monday night, a group of very talented baseball players gathered to smash softly tossed pitches as hard and as far as they could. For the seasoned fan, there was nothing particularly new about this. But I keep thinking about the first-time viewer—a child, a traveler from far away, an unfrozen caveman, perhaps even a security guard who usually keeps his back turned to the action, but decided to peek just this once. These potential observers might have had their minds blown by the gargantuan dingers on display. The balls must have looked like they were soaring, like they had something on them that allowed them to defy gravity—perhaps a couple of feathered appendages.

Personally, I didn't love MLB's yet-again-revised format, which delivered a kind of rocky hybrid by starting players on a timer but then giving them "outs" in a bonus round. I also didn't feel especially enthralled by the first round: Instead of making the entire competition happen bracket-style, as before, the opener was a free-for-all to determine the seedings for the semifinals, undermining short-term stakes in the interest of fairness. But the late stages of the derby delivered a few moments of drama on the road to Teoscar Hernández's victory, and even though it lacked a bombastic run from any one player, those viewers who stuck around were rewarded with an exciting finale.

The pregame was baffling. Some guy from SNL gave labored introductions for the players, and then he was bailed out by an avant-garde national anthem performance. But Alec Bohm, the first hitter of the night, got the show on track. He produced 21 dingers in the first round—tied with José Ramírez for the most anyone would hit all night—and his hair looked especially pretty as Bohm twisted his body to smash the meatballs in front of him. If you didn't know any better, you'd say his hits were gliding on the wind like an eagle, with wings.

After all eight contestants had their turn, the field was sliced in half. Bobby Witt Jr. faced Ramírez and won, while Bohm took on Hernández. It was in this matchup that the pressure became tangible. Bohm and Hernández each finished their turns with 14 dongs, forcing a three-swing overtime. Hernández seized the moment with success on two attempts, preparing baseballs for takeoff with the air-traffic controller that was his bat.

The finals pitted Hernández, the veteran, against Witt, the budding Kansas City superstar. While it was the 31-year-old Dodger who took home the prize, Witt made a great impression on anyone who habitually ignores the Royals. It came down to the very last swings, with Witt trailing 14-11 in the bonus round. A couple of jaw-dropping projectiles flew over the fence to bring the kid within one, with two outs remaining. His next offering darted foul. His last hovered in the air forever—yes, exactly like a beautiful butterfly surveying a garden—but it eventually landed at the base of the 410 sign in center. Like Icarus plummeting to Earth, you might say.

We should have called it Swings Week.