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Illegal Casino Night Is For The Children

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Illustration by Tara Jacoby

We all have dreams. We all want to smell good. We all want the best for our children. We all want our children to get scouted and land full-ride athletic scholarships and smell good. We all want to fundraise for the team. We all want to gamble. We all know that the rules don’t apply to us if we’re doing it for the kids. When did I lose you? 

The tough thing about doing crimes with others is that everyone has leverage on everyone else. (As a Scorpio, this is a nightmare scenario for me. I work alone.) And while sometimes the scarcity mindset is a scam, sometimes it’s a fact of life: There is a fixed number of people who can host a single bingo game. Within any suburban enclave, there are only so many people who want to buy essential oils. There is a limit to how much petty lawbreaking one cop can pretend not to see without having his palms greased. But where exactly are these limits? We must go to casino night to find out. 

We’re so pleased to welcome Danielle Henderson back to the show this week! Danielle is a TV writer, author of the memoir The Ugly Cry, and creator of Feminist Ryan Gosling. You can also find her on Orgasms and Revenge, her weekly Substack newsletter.

Danielle told Kelsey about what happens when you have distinctive hair, live in a small town, and accept a ride on a motorcycle from your crush. Then Kelsey regaled Danielle with the story of a group of parents who chose to raise money for their kids’ soccer team with some illicit gambling and maybe support a mid-level marketing scheme in the process. 

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