Jonathan Gannon’s Gut Might Need A Little More Fire

The Arizona Cardinals will not be good this season. I just checked several sportsbooks, and their odds to win the NFC West are worse than the Detroit Lions’ odds to win the Super Bowl. Kyler Murray is out for at least the first quarter of the season. Arizona is expected to be so bad, people are upset the team cut Colt McCoy; the tanking accusations have already begun.

But maybe new head coach Jonathan Gannon can turn it around. The former Eagles defensive coordinator, who occasionally dresses like Pee-wee Herman, saw his defense absolutely trounced in the Super Bowl. But, hey! He has a new team, with a shittier roster, and now he’s in charge of all of it. That’s a recipe for success.

As such, the Cardinals must’ve made their fans (?) excited (??) last night when the team dropped a video titled “Cardinals Flight Plan: Coach & The Coordinators.” It’s always exciting as a fan when your team goes into a new season with all the focus on the new coach and coordinators, and whether you’ll be bad enough to draft a good quarterback next year. If I were a Cardinals fan, I would be (shouting) jacked up! for the year after seeing this clip Adam Schefter shared:

This is a video the team put together and shared publicly. Jonathan Gannon asks his players who drove to the practice facility, and who "took the bus." Then he continues: “Do you have fire in your gut?” He’s asking them questions you might ask a toddler on the first day of Sunday school. He’s also about as laid-back as possible, which is great when you’re asking about gut-fire.

The cutaway shots to players are hilarious. No one has any reaction to Gannon’s attempt at a motivational speech. They do not seem to react at all. The video seems like it’s making fun of the Cardinals and Jonathan Gannon.

The full 17-minute video is so cringeworthy, it could be the “Dinner Party” episode of The Office. If you have a spare quarter-hour this holiday weekend and love that kind of stuff, maybe host a viewing party.