Let me be very clear: I do not have a parasocial relationship with Shohei Ohtani's dog. What I do have is a Getty Images subscription for work. And if that Getty Images subscription just happens to include 20-or-so very high quality photos of Ohtani's dog—English name Decoy, Japanese name デコピン, or Dekopin, meaning to flick someone's forehead—throwing out the ceremonial first pitch while wearing an Ohtani jersey on Ohtani's bobblehead night, well. Is it not my right, nay, duty to share la crème de la crème with the people?
OK, first things first. Do you want to watch the video? Let's watch the video.
Aww. Look at the sheer talent on display! Hopefully this will adequately prepare you for what's to come.
I do not have a parasocial relationship with Shohei Ohtani's dog.
