Papa John: For 20 Months I Have Worked To Excise Racial Slur From My Vocabulary

Former Papa John's Papa, John "Papa John" Schnatter, has served in his current post as ex-CEO for just over three years now. That's far longer than I expected, a confusion that probably results from Papa John doing his level best to avoid being an absentee father by repeatedly making news related to the global pizza concern that bears his name during those intervening years. He has done this by suing his former shop, alleging a conspiracy against him, betraying his once-beloved Louisville Cardinals, and vociferously defending his once-good name against those who would raise an eyebrow at him for saying the n-word on a conference call.

And now he's back doing more of that today, with the help of the dog-brained Fox News wannabes over at OAN, days after gracing Newsmax with his takes on cancel culture. Papa's 100 percent real beef is with the Papa John's board, and frankly it's all soggy and boring after being reheated in the microwave. His current stance is something like Let he who is without sin slice the first pizza pie, but Papa is too upset and impatient to make it very effectively. However, while defending against charges of racism, he did reveal a nugget: "We've had three goals for the last 20 months: to get rid of this n-word in my vocabulary, and dictionary, and everything else."

Hope it's going well, Papa John!