We gave our all for two entire days to the cesspool with sliding gloves known as the Chicago White Sox, and they screwed up the bit. This was very much in character and on brand, but rude all the same. Glory awaited them, and in perfect Soxian fashion they hurled all over it like a first-time gin drinker. More to the point, they beat the Oakland A's on Tuesday night and broke their 21-game losing streak.
Well, payback has begun, and again in the most Soxtastic way. Chicago fired manager Pedro Grifol Thursday after a 3-2 loss to the A's on Wednesday afternoon, and we can only presume it was because someone finally alerted Jerry Reinsdorf to the fact that the baseball team he notices only intermittently had become its own portable punchline. From there, Reinsdorf did what owners do, which is designate someone to find a scapegoat. Ironically or not, it was the man who went out of his way last week to praise Reinsdorf as “an absolute winner.”
Ladles and jellyspoons, we give you general manager, more or less, Chris Getz.
"As we all recognize, our team's performance this season has been disappointing on many levels," Getz said in a statement that minimized the size of the disaster by a good 85 percent. "Despite the on-field struggles and lack of success, we appreciate the effort and professionalism Pedro and the staff brought to the ballpark every day. These two seasons have been very challenging. Unfortunately, the results were not there, and a change is necessary as we look to our future and the development of a new energy around the team."
But when you run it through Gurgle Translate, it reads this way:
"Jerry was pissed and told me to do something, so I do what general managers do—pick someone to blame. We actually didn't appreciate Pedro's effort and professionalism; if we did, he'd still have the job. As for the rest of the staff, they're getting theirs when we hire the new guy after the season ends. There is, however, good news: I've still got my gig."
If you have watched the White Sox, the decision makes sense; the vibes have been every bit as bad as the baseball. But it’s hard not to wonder about the timing. Why would you wait until your shitshow odometer reset to zero? Why wasn't the 21st loss the rebar that broke the pigeon's back? Was the front office really trying to recreate the 1916 Athletics and get past 26? Ultimately, did the White Sox fuck up the works by winning that game? In the end, can this be Jonathan Cannon's fault? I mean, we're game to make just about anything up, but we'd also happily accept whatever guidance Getz can provide.
There are other records still to have if they want them. The White Sox could lose their last 45 games and catch Our Beloved Cleveland Spiders for most losses ever. They could finish 13-32 and pass the 1962 Mets (40-120), or 14-31 and surpass the '03 Tigers (43-119). If you're a winning-percentage weirdo, they could go 10-35 and undertake the '16 A's (.235). All of these outcomes are every bit as likely under interim manager Grady Sizemore—or Walter Alston, or Sparky Anderson, or Jesus Christ, whomever is older than Reinsdorf—as they were under Grifol. There are still milestones and millstones still to collect if that's the real idea. If it wasn't the idea, the ceremonial firing of Grifol should have happened well before this. But if you're in for a 21-game losing streak after a 14-game losing streak, why wouldn't you be in for the works? If you're going to stink, why not make high heaven the goal?
This is why it makes more sense in our heads that Grifol got fired for blowing the gaff and winning that Tuesday game. If the White Sox went through all these various hells and the only thing they have to show for it is back-to-back 100-loss seasons, then what was the point of the whole season? The A's did that last year and could still get another C-note this season. The Orioles lost 100 in 2018, 2019, and 2021 and could have four-banged it if not for COVID. The Astros powertanked to three straight 100-loss seasons in 2011, '12, and '13. The Royals managed it four times in five years (2002, '04, '05, and '06). What the White Sox have accomplished, and conversely refused to accomplish, is not all that big a deal, historically speaking. All that matters now is what they might yet accomplish.
If they get there, Pedro Grifol will have to share whatever the opposite of credit is with his replacement. For the moment, he can stand tall knowing that he has the third-worst managerial record ever (minimum 250 games), and with the knowledge that he might have gotten the gate for doing the one unforgivable thing for a White Sox manager: making the White Sox less noteworthy.
