If God exists, They don't seem to hear everyone's prayers. Or I guess, if They do hear them, They don't grant them. Only a mere few lucky ones can shoot their wishes up toward the heavens on a breath of faith and have them granted. And even they will not have the line to God's ear open forever, for God is fickle.
Right now, the only fanbase with a line to God does seems to be little college in the Blue Ridges of western North Carolina called Appalachian State University.
Last week, unranked Appalachian State defeated Texas A&M 17-14 after Texas A&M paid them $1.5 million to come to College Station for the game.
Before that game, Texas A&M was ranked No. 6. They are an SEC school. A&M has (and you know this must be true because it is literal torture for me to type this) grown an incredibly solid and exciting-to-watch program in the last 10 years. And not only did they lose to tiny little angelic Appalachian State, they got their College GameDay visit revoked over this loss! Ha!
Instead, Gameday rolled up in Boone, N.C., Saturday morning for the first time ever, and these fans had made with homemade giant checks to remind the world that they'd been paid to beat A&M at home. Incredible.
But then, in case you think this might have been a single isolated miracle, Appalachian State pulled off a Hail Mary in the game yesterday. What happened can only be divine intervention.
Watch this play. Appalachian State is down 28-26. Theoretically a field goal would suffice, but there are only two seconds left on the clock and Appalachian State is on their own 46-yard line. This is a Hail Mary if I've ever seen one:
This is not what I would call a "good" play, per se. Troy, the opposing team, rushes four, leaving everyone else downfield. The quarterback drops back, and the pocket collapses. He skitters between two linemen, sets right at the edge of the line of scrimmage and lobs the ball as far as he can—which is not quite as far as the end zone—a huge arcing wish made of leather.
Now, the camera work here is not great, but every player near the ball leaps for it. They all touch it, pushing it away from each other so that it juggles up, floating almost into the hands of a receiver standing near by, who runs it in a half-circle into the end zone to win the game!!!! Appalachian State wins again!
If the celebrating yesterday was anything like the party that raged in the streets of Boone after the A&M win, Mountaineers fans need to start praying for their livers. And it appears they've found the duck pond again: