There's a 3-wood belonging to Rory McIlroy slowly returning to nature in the woods near Chapel Avenue in Jersey City, New Jersey, where it crosses near the ninth tee of Liberty National Golf Course. Or, rather, it used to belong to McIlroy, but it seems he's abandoned it to any intrepid golfer or resourceful beaver who happens upon it. The poor discarded club was flung there during McIlroy's disappointing final round at The Northern Trust on Monday afternoon:
Why did Rory McIlroy spend so much time hitting 3-woods on the range yesterday?
— Dylan Dethier (@dylan_dethier) August 25, 2021
"I threw my 3-wood onto the New Jersey Turnpike off the 9th hole on Monday, so I was without a 3-wood coming here," he said.
"If someone wants to go get a 3-wood, there's one in there somewhere."
It was a weird trip to Jersey City, for most of everyone involved. The approach of Hurricane Henri caused the postponement of the final round of tournament, which left 125 professional golfers futzing around the greater New York City area for a wet day and spending an extra night eating room service and sleeping on hotel beds and shit. McIlroy woke up Monday morning well back from the lead and immediately fired a double-bogey on the par-4 first. After a string of pars he fired another bogey on eight. Frustration was mounting, and was soon to be taken out on an underperforming club. McIlroy acknowledged he "mightn't have reached the road" with his cathartic toss, but the 3-wood was for sure abandoned wherever it landed, somewhere in "the trees off the ninth tee."
McIlroy explained all this from Caves Valley Golf Club in Baltimore after traveling directly there following the conclusion of the Northern Trust, where he finished 43rd. McIlroy's a new dad, he's tired, and by the count of ESPN golf reporter Tom VanHarren he will have played in 34 tournaments in 15 months by the end of September. Sometimes a club's gotta pay the price when a man has simply had too much of this golf shit!
"This morning, I was tired. Look, we all had a long week last week as well, but just summoning up the effort to get out of bed and get to your 7:20 pro-am tee time, it took a little more effort today than it usually does. But yeah, just everything. It's a lot of golf. It's hard to feel fresh at this time in the season, it all just sort of catches up with you."
ESPN
Those of us who are not professional golfers likely do not know what it feels like to have woken up Monday morning stiff and sore from a long weekend of playing uneven golf, gone immediately to the golf course for another round of golf, continued to play unevenly, finally had too much of this golf business, and addressed this angst by flinging a golf club into the woods forever. But the state of just being sick of all this damn crap is an all too common feature of adulthood, and for that reason we can all sympathize with McIlroy while also remaining envious of the fact that he has reached a level of success that allows for the occasional spleen-venting toss of a golf club. Certainly there are times when I would certainly like to fling my laptop into the woods, but I unfortunately am not a millionaire.
