Being a prophet is notoriously a risky business. One needs no small amount of charm in order to win over the masses with a sly smile and a knowing glance. It is important to be humble and never boastful. They must overcome challenges that would vex simpler beings. Maybe more than anything else, a prophet is nothing without wisdom beyond their years, a knowledge so precise that it seems touched by a voice beyond our simple celestial veil. To fail as a prophet is certain doom at the hands of the devout, but in success we are rendered helpless at their spectacle.
"These teams are 2-2 in their last four matchups, and the Redhawks' defense looks good," Timothee Chalamet told the set of ESPN's College GameDay on Saturday in Atlanta. Amongst a sea of fans and a collection of back-slapping Jos. A. Bank suits, he continued: "But I'm looking at fourth-year Bobcats quarterback Parker Navarro, 65 percent completion rate. If he can get going, he'll tilt this in favor of the Bobcats. I'm going underdog Bobcats here."
As it was written, so it came to be: Navarro ran for two touchdowns and threw for two more as Ohio beat Miami (Ohio), 38-3, in the MAC Championship game Saturday. It did not stop there. "[Cameron] Skattebo, little three- to five-yard runs, needs to be efficient and set that offense going. I don't think they've won a conference championship outright ever. I'm pulling for Arizona State today," Chalamet said. The Sun Devils punched their ticket to the College Football Playoff Saturday night with a 45-19 win over Iowa State.
Who could have foreseen this? Who could have predicted Oregon would beat Penn State, or picked Jackson State over Southern? The internet quickly took notice of this stirring phenomenon: "Timothee Chalamet came prepared, researched, and referenced the Pony Express. Maybe the best College Gameday guest picker yet. NYC guy. Respect," wrote Fox Sports' Peter Schrager. "Timothee Chalamet being a real deal college football fan, being a SMU fan, and knowing about all these teams was so crazy to me," said Chris Vernon of The Ringer. Crazy indeed! People magazine said he "surprised several sports commentators on ESPN’s College GameDay—and fans—after he showed off his impressive knowledge of college football on the show's latest broadcast." Both impressive and surprising!
"Some were curious about why Chalamet, a New York-born actor with seemingly no connection to Power 5 football, was chosen to be the guest picker on the college football program that was being held in Atlanta ahead of the SEC title game," wrote the New York Post.
Why, indeed, would the handsome and charismatic man who has a talent for memorizing and reciting lines on camera come prepared to be a better professional Ball Knower than the perpetually aggravated grease-stained dish towel of a man ESPN has forced on-air at all hours of the day? How could it be that this man who sang and danced into our hearts while carrying an intense chemistry with an orange-faced Hugh Grant could be more captivating on screen than the desiccated husk of Nick Saban? Surely, if he could hold his own in an ensemble directed by Greta Gerwig about the invisible weight of gender stereotypes, Chalamet could bro down to help save the shaking fortunes of Disney's corporate tailgate.
How does he do it? From what sorcery does this doe-eyed and angular-jawed imp, with his soft curls and relaxed but approachable cadence, command such thrall over our unsuspecting populace? Certainly it has nothing to do with the fact that his latest movie, A Complete Unknown, a biopic about the early era of Bob Dylan's life in New York, is coming to theaters and multiplexes near you this Christmas?
Surely he would not be roaming the land in search of audiences, simply to market himself and this movie? “I mean it sincerely: I loved it here, and I love Minnesota, and I find the people to be really generous, and nice, and generous of spirit,” Chalamet recently said in an interview, back in Dylan's home state of Minnesota.
Gasp! He is the light and the truth and The Ball Knower we were promised!
