NFL draft coverage has long been an industry unto itself for pundits and networks, but judging by the aerial shots over Green Bay, Wis., where Thursday night's opening round was held, it’s also become something like sports-nerd Coachella. Some 200,000 people showed up to watch what is ultimately a boring product, only slightly more interesting than Marvel livestreaming a bunch of chairs with actors' names on it. But the draft thrives as an event for two reasons: It sells hope, and sports fans love hope; it makes for a long TV broadcast, and the league loves its long TV broadcasts, so much so that it will go out of its way to lengthen the proceedings through brute geographical force.
The draft stage has become increasingly elaborate over the years, but I fear we may have gone too far. Last night, it took each draftee forever to make it across the West Elm showroom that was the green room, walk through an elaborate tunnel—this thing had two 90-degree turns in it!—and make it to the stage to give the Roger Goodell the customary dap and hug after their names were announced. That’s not including the time they wasted traipsing around the green room to hug family members and dap up fellow draftees.
As late as 2017, the draft setup still had the green room next to the stage, but even then the draft was obviously transitioning into more of a show, going from a conference-room setup to a concert-style presentation. The 2018 draft brought us our first true tunnel—barebones and simple, not even the most important part of the walk. By the time you get to 2024, the draft tunnel has become a lot more elaborate and ornately designed in team logos, but it was just as long walking through the green room as it was walking through the tunnel. It wasn’t until last year where it seemed as though the tunnel might have become too lengthy.
Just look at the mouse trap Jayden Daniels had to navigate for nearly a full minute. It seems fun to walk through, but not to watch, and not to wait on if I’m in that audience expecting a glimpse of the franchise savior. The tunnel looked even longer at last night's show, and a few of the draftees had to adopt a brisk pace, or even actively run, just to get through the thing in a reasonable amount of time. The league seems to have also widened the green room yet again, as it looks like they had taken over an entire Costco.
Every other draft obsessive will spend today talking about how Shedeur Sanders fell out of the first round because he's Deion's son or whatever, but I'm focused on what really matters: The tunnel is too damn long, and they are only going to make it longer. Not on my watch, I say! This is a call to all football fans who value their time to rise up and reject the draft tunnel.
