There’s Gonna Be Three Hits: Me Hitting You, You Hitting The Floor, Also Me Hitting The Floor

Last night's highly entertaining UFC 263 card featured a bounty of pleasant offerings for fight fans. Like watching technical masterworks? Defensive wizard Israel Adesanya outclassed Marvin Vettori for 25 minutes and easily defended his belt. Enjoy lovable underdogs overcoming superior athletes? Brandon Moreno's submission of Deiveson Figueiredo was a spectacular way for the first Mexican-born UFC champ to earn his belt after a thrilling draw in their first meeting. Are you a fan of old guys doing cool stuff? Then you'd have to love Nate Diaz rocking Leon Edwards near the end of their fight, even if he inexplicably didn't follow it up at all. Are you Scottish? Well, Paul Craig won.

I, however, like MMA largely because it's a deeply stupid sport where silly things happen all the time, so Terrance McKinney's seven-second KO was my favorite performance of the night. McKinney was only added to this card on four days notice after Frank Camacho got into a car crash, and his call-up to the UFC came one weekend after his last fight with Legacy Fight Alliance. McKinney said he had to get to Arizona so quickly he almost missed his flight and forgot to pack all his stuff, omitting both his mouthguard and cup. Those seem important!

Naturally, he won the fight in seven seconds, knocking Frevola out with a jab-cross combo. He also tweaked his knee while leaping off the cage.

Johnny Walker would be proud.