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Albert Burneko
Assignment Editor
Connect
albert.burneko@defector.com
@albertburneko
English Premier League
Liverpool Beats Fulham Via Half A Mile Of Sick Goals
61
Comments
Albert Burneko
December 3, 2023
Capital
Looking Good, Elon! Feeling Good, Trashcan Man!
753
Comments
Albert Burneko
December 1, 2023
Enter Our Raffle To Win A Visit And Home-Cooked Meal From Drew Magary
In 2022, we sent Cardboard Roth and actual Roth to our raffle winner's home. This year, we're sending Drew over, and he's cooking up a feast. Anyone who makes a contribution of at least $20 into our tip jar by Nov. 24 will be entered into the raffle.
The Machines
Here’s $75, Give Me One Frosty Tesla Cyberbeer Please GZZT MZZZZT ZZZZZTT ERROR ERROR FATAL ERROR
370
Comments
Albert Burneko
November 16, 2023
Life Lessons
Life Comes At You Fast
216
Comments
Albert Burneko
November 12, 2023
Soccer
More Like Erik Two Hag
86
Comments
Albert Burneko
November 9, 2023
The Machines
When Blindness Hits A Hundred Bucks A Share, Then Who Will Be Laughing, I Ask You, “Doctor”
385
Comments
Albert Burneko
November 6, 2023
NBA
James Harden Traded To Los Angeles Clippers After All
149
Comments
Albert Burneko
October 31, 2023
NBA
All Anyone Could Ever Hope To Know Or Learn About The 2023–24 NBA Season, Or Indeed About Anything, And Well In Advance Too
159
Comments
Albert Burneko
,
Chris Thompson
,
David Roth
,
Giri Nathan
,
Justin Ellis
,
Luis Paez-Pumar
,
Maitreyi Anantharaman
,
Patrick Redford
,
Ray Ratto
, and
Tom Ley
October 24, 2023
MLB
Never Make Zac Gallen Face Kyle Schwarber And Bryce Harper In The Same Inning Ever Again
70
Comments
Albert Burneko
October 22, 2023
MLB
More Like Min Scherzer
134
Comments
Albert Burneko
October 19, 2023
Jamboroo
High School Sports Are Out Of Frickin’ Control
564
Comments
Albert Burneko
October 5, 2023
Media Meltdowns
Wow, You Can’t Even Pound A Quart Of Whiskey At The Airport For Less Than $60 Anymore
484
Comments
Albert Burneko
September 21, 2023
Soccer
Luis Rubiales Finally, Belatedly Resigns
147
Comments
Albert Burneko
September 11, 2023
Soccer
Spain Dumps Women’s Team Coach Jorge Vilda, At Long Last
87
Comments
Albert Burneko
September 5, 2023
Soccer
Ansu Fati In Brighton Should Be Lots Of Fun
32
Comments
Albert Burneko
September 3, 2023
Soccer
Luis Rubiales Shows The Whole World Spain’s Entire Ass
237
Comments
Albert Burneko
August 25, 2023
Soccer
What The Hell Is Going On With João Félix?
71
Comments
Albert Burneko
August 23, 2023
Soccer
After All That, Kylian Mbappé Will Stay At Paris Saint-Germain
56
Comments
Albert Burneko
August 13, 2023
MLB
The San Francisco Giants And Cable TV Conspired To Prevent This Blog, But Failed
135
Comments
Albert Burneko
August 10, 2023
Soccer
What The Hell Is Going On With Ousmane Dembélé?
51
Comments
Albert Burneko
August 8, 2023
Arts And Culture
Paul Reubens Did Everything Funny
242
Comments
Albert Burneko
July 31, 2023
Soccer
What The Hell Is Going On With Kylian Mbappé?
140
Comments
Albert Burneko
July 26, 2023
Soccer
Cristiano Ronaldo Is Being A Butt Again
194
Comments
Albert Burneko
July 18, 2023
Soccer
Italy’s Getting There, Slowly, Maybe
37
Comments
Albert Burneko
July 14, 2023
NBA
Catch The Victor Wembanyama Show
119
Comments
Albert Burneko
July 10, 2023
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