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Chris Thompson

Staff Writer

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Today’s Cocktail Is The Guy About Town

May 7, 2021

Could This Farting Bug With “Senator” In Its Scientific Name Release Me From This Waking Nightmare? An Investigation

May 6, 2021

Enter Our Raffle To Win A Visit And Home-Cooked Meal From Drew Magary

In 2022, we sent Cardboard Roth and actual Roth to our raffle winner's home. This year, we're sending Drew over, and he's cooking up a feast. Anyone who makes a contribution of at least $20 into our tip jar by Nov. 24 will be entered into the raffle.

The Unstoppable, Charming, Incredibly Telegenic Wizards Are Truly Basketball’s Feel-Good Story, No Matter What The Haters And Losers Say

April 29, 2021

Vlad Jr. Did Some Primo Smashing

April 28, 2021

This Is So Stupid

Let’s Rate The Dismal Beef Of Right-Wing Internet Psychos Trying To Own Imaginary Libs

April 25, 2021

Heartbreaking: Most Annoying Person In Baseball Makes Great Point

April 25, 2021

This Is So Stupid

I Love Disney World But Rampaging Animatronic Kill-Bots Are Ruining The Experience

April 23, 2021

Deni Avdija’s Brutally Frustrating Season Comes To A Brutal End

April 22, 2021

Please Join Me For A Chuckle At This Grayson Allen Blooper

April 20, 2021

This Shrieking Hornets Broadcaster Must Knock It Off, Immediately

April 19, 2021

Media Meltdowns

Grown Man Spitting Mad That Youth’s Autograph Not Cool Enough

April 16, 2021

Could A Jeep-Mounted Zion Williamson Roundhouse-Kick My Head Off? An Investigation

April 14, 2021

A Cryptocurrency Expert Introduces Me To The Dystopian Nightmare Of Art As A Financial Instrument

April 12, 2021

Let’s Make Our Own Damn Bitters And Remember The Great Happy Hours Of The Before Times

April 7, 2021

Fans Remind Astros Of Their Sins With Not One, But Two Trash Cans Thrown Onto Field

April 6, 2021

Imagine The Awesome Face-Annihilating Powers Of The Antimatter-Freezing Laser

April 2, 2021

This Is So Stupid

White Sox Send Eloy Jimenez To The Great Baseball Diamond In The Sky

April 2, 2021

Congratulations To The 19 Far-Flung Fans Who Can Now Stream Nationals Games

April 1, 2021

Media Meltdowns

Papa John Posts Audio Of People Reacting In Authentic Disgust To His Racism, To Prove He Is Not Racist

March 31, 2021

Let's Remember Some Guys

Let’s Remember Some Guys Who May Or May Not Have Told Kelvin Sampson, Respectfully, To Cram It

March 30, 2021

Aaron Gordon’s 19-Minute “Documentary” About Losing The Dunk Contest Is Just The Lamest Shit Ever

March 29, 2021

You Will Never Guess Which NBA General Manager Was So Close To Making Several Big Deadline Trades

March 26, 2021

Julius Randle Is Suddenly Dirk Nowitzki Or Some Shit

March 24, 2021

Stuff And Smother More Food, Goddammit

March 22, 2021

Rockets Head Coach Stephen Silas Is Enduring The Torments Of Hell

March 22, 2021