This morning I received what appeared to be blessed confirmation from NFL insider Tom Pelissero that the Minnesota Vikings were officially out of the Aaron Rodgers (snickering) sweepstakes. I had waited far, FAR too long for this news to drop. The Rodgers-Vikings connection only made sense to media members carrying water for a desperate, jobless Rodgers, and to casual observers who remembered Brett Favre joining the team in 2009. To everyone else, nearly all Vikings fans included, any suggestions that the team might be interested in Rodgers was as nonsensical as it was enraging. So I was grateful to Pelissero for putting the kibosh on all of that speculation and allowing me, at last, to bask in what has been a remarkable offseason for my team.
But Rodgers, like herpes, is a virus that refuses to die once inside your system. So here came Dianna Russini of The Athletic, vehemently attempting to keep the story alive by reporting that Minnesota was “simply not making a decision at this time.” That report, I could write off with ease, but then Vikings beat reporter Kevin Seifert of ESPN filed this report, buttressed by sources in Eagan, that officially kept the door 0.00000000000001 inches ajar.
Sources described the possibility of Rodgers joining the team as "non-zero," but all along sources have maintained that there was only a small chance that coach Kevin O'Connell would upend the organizational plan for McCarthy, whom O'Connell has called "our franchise quarterback."
It's easy enough to translate this shit. J.J. McCarthy is QB1 for the Vikings. He damn near won the job last preseason before a torn meniscus put him in dry dock, and head coach Kevin O’Connell has played up the speed at which McCarthy has recovered in the months since. Should McCarthy get hurt again this offseason—perhaps because Mike Silver decided to run over the kid with his car—then sure, it would make sense to make a desperation booty call for a veteran quarterback. It only makes sense to keep all of their options open, which is what they essentially told Seifert.
But Rodgers isn't just a veteran quarterback. He's also washed as shit, needy, and the most publicly annoying man in the world. That makes any bare-bones report that he maybe almost kinda sorta might end up in Minnesota sound both farcical and annoying. SO annoying, particularly now that the Vikings are putting the finishing touches on a masterful rebuilding plan that started in 2022. They've checked so many things off the list:
- Get rid of terminally average QB Kirk Cousins. DONE.
- Clear the roster of all other dead salary cap weight, even if that means losing fan favorites like Dalvin Cook and Adam Thielen. DONE.
- Hire a brilliant mind to fix a defense that was in ruins. OOPS THEY HIRED ED DONATELL.
- Fire Ed Donatell and hire a better guy. DONE.
- Extend young bedrock players like Justin Jefferson and Christian Darrisaw. DONE.
- Rebuild the edge rusher room. DONE.
- Fix an offensive line interior that, for nearly a decade, couldn’t stop a toddler. DONE.
- Fix a defensive line interior that had zero pass rushing capabilities. DONE.
- Fix a patchwork secondary. KINDA DONE.
- Sign a quality running back. DONE TWICE OVER.
- Draft a new QB higher than the Vikings have ever drafted a QB. DONE.
- Spend that rookie’s first offseason/training camp making sure he’s legit and not the second coming of Kellen Mond. DONE.
- Build a potential juggernaut around him. DONE.
It’s very like Aaron Rodgers to watch the Vikings execute this plan so masterfully and then tell the world, Oh wow, it’s so nice they cleaned up the place just for me! They didn’t. They did all of this so that McCarthy could flourish right away. This team is in better shape than I can ever remember. That’s still the plan. You don’t build yourself a fancy new house and then paint it in diarrhea. Common sense says the Vikings believe this as well.
So keep that in mind as Rodgers attempts to keep this ball of yarn in the air. The only way it makes sense for the Vikings to add Rodgers—who reportedly wants the same deal the Seahawks gave to Sam Darnold, by the way—is if disaster strikes or if everyone inside the organization gets accidental lobotomies.
There’s nothing guaranteed to the Vikings now that they have everything in place. All of the interior linemen they splurged on this month—no team spent more in cash this offseason—have recent injuries and could get hurt again. The new kicker could prove damaged goods in record time. Jordan Addison could get liquored up behind the wheel again and knock over a fire hydrant. Or J.J. McCarthy could indeed have the kind of nightmare spring that has the franchise scrambling for temp work. Shit happens, especially to the Vikings. And what says SHIT more than Aaron Rodgers? He’s a potential nightmare scenario that refuses to go away.
It’s a nuisance to say the least, and it’s putting an unwelcome stink on what has been a genuinely thrilling free agency run by Kwesi Adofo-Mensah and his staff. Root for a team long enough and, as in any other serious relationship, you’ll inevitably ask yourself, Where is this going? If you’re a Saints fan, you’ve been asking yourself this question basically every year since Drew Brees retired. If you’re a Jets fan, you were born asking it. And if you’re a Vikings fan, you’ve asked it over and over through the years as they’ve attempted to win a Super Bowl using scavenged parts at quarterback. I don’t have to ask it now. The Vikings know what they’re doing. I know this because Aaron Rodgers is still out on the curb, where he belongs.
